Wonderfully Ironic

My Story

2011-11-09T09:47:00.000-05:00

I have a story to tell. It's my story. It can only be told the way I interpret it. Everyone will have their own interpretation of it. That's because they have their own story and tell it their way – and I would, in turn, interpret it my way. That's just the way it is. I can't change that. I can scream it, say it a hundred different ways, but no one will fully understand my entire story the way I understand it. And that's OK because that's part of what makes it mine. And at the end of it all, I'm the one who should be pleased with my story. If it can help or support or enlighten and care for others, then that's an incredible bonus. But that's not why I write my story. It is why I tell it.

Jump In and Do Something

2011-05-12T13:13:00.000-04:00

So, it’s embarrassing, but I’ll admit – you haven’t seen me in a while. I could tell you all the reasons, but does any of that matter? Nope.

Lately my husband and I have been having great conversations about where we are in our professional lives, where we want to be, where we can be and what we can be doing to get there. I’m sure many of you have this conversation – either with another person or with yourself. Do you know what we all need to do? Just jump in there and do something about it to move it one step closer. Do something.

It’s so easy for me to write that – trust me, I know. I’m in the same boat (if you’re in the "I’m so busy, but busy doing what" boat). Yes, life is busy. Yes, we all get totally swamped. We’re all human. But just take five minutes. Write an e-mail to follow up with someone. Make a quick call to let a prospect or past client know you’re just thinking of them and see how they’re doing.

If you know me, have read some of my blogs or Tweets, you know about my passion and addiction to to-do lists. Mine overfloweth lately. However, that’s exactly where I was two months ago, too. Things have been crossed off, but some remain and many have been added.

This week I read an article about Kathy Vitzthum, a woman who took one class a year, for 19 years, before graduating with an accounting degree. About seven years after she started, she questioned the fact that it’d take her until she was 50 to finish. Her dad told her "You're going to be 50 anyway, so you might as well keep going." That really hit home for me. I could go along my merry way and just end up 6 months older in 6 months, or I could do something each day/week/month and be that much farther along in my accomplishments! No brainer to me. This also makes those to-do tasks seem a little more urgent because I would rather know I’ve done things in 6 months beside just AGE and have crossed off "laundry" on my to do list 100 times (thank you very much).

So here I am. I am starting my new "just jump in and do something" way of thinking. Notice the emphasis is on SOMETHING.

And check me out with this – I’m writing another blog post. About dang time, right? Yes! So here it is. I just opened up a Word doc and started typing. It's that simple. Yes, I’m realizing it’s quite long (I even went back and chopped a lot), but so be it – I’m DOING IT!

So think of something that’s weighing on you – that you’re not doing because of whatever reasons. Stop and just pick ONE. Now what is the VERY first thing you could do – just one little task – to simply take that weighing thing a step forward? Do it. Now. Then (and this is very important) do your happy dance and cross it off your to do list.

5 Steps That Can Make Your Goals Attainable

2011-01-25T13:49:00.001-05:00

This month most of us have thought about, or even gone so far as to write down, goals or resolutions for 2011. Perhaps you’ve given up and you stop yourself from thinking this way anymore. Let’s make this year different. These five steps will help make sticking to and accomplishing your goals realistic and non self-defeating. Don't roll your eyes - it can happen.

Look at Last Year
Whether or not you set goals last January, you certainly can think back to where you were and what your frustrations were. Where are you with those frustrations today? If you didn’t get something done, why do you think it didn’t happen? Be honest with yourself and keep asking "why?" until you get down to the nitty-gritty. No self-bashing allowed here; you're just looking for answers.

Also take a hard look at what things did work for you. How did you accomplish that? Once you establish some insight, be OK with seeing what does and doesn’t work for you. This information – and accepting the truth – will help you set realistic 2011 goals and help you understand what support, resources, etc. you need to accomplish them.
Break it Down
Similar to how you broke down what did and didn't work for you last year, break down your new goals into tasks. The best way to do this is to look at a goal and ask if it's something you can get done today and clearly know it’s been done.

For example, your goal is to expand your business network. This is a great goal but can not be done today nor is it quantitative - so break it down. Identify the types of businesses and people you want in your network. Research an hour a week/day where can you find these contacts. Define your budget for networking. Make a list of organizations and opportunities that are a good fit – prioritize that list.

Tasks like these are easier to attain and can be crossed off a list (which feels great - see step 5).
Go Easy on Yourself
The best part of breaking it down is that you have so many things to feel good about! Without a big, daunting goal hovering over you, you now have a specific to-do list. Accomplishing quantifiable tasks is more realistic, gives you more motivation and makes it clear that you're on track.

However, we’re all human and life can get the best of us. So if you miss something – go easy on yourself. If you really are starting to beat yourself up too much, remind yourself that you’re this much farther along to accomplishing this goal than you were last year! Sometimes it’s also good to let yourself off the hook and remind yourself it doesn’t HAVE to be today – you can pick it up again down the line (see step 4).
Check Back In
Put a big ol’ reminder in your calendar every three months to check back on your goals. (This helps with going easy on yourself because you know ahead of time that you are going to come back to this.) If you’re one of the rare ones that, in three months, you’re totally on track, well, that’s terrific and impressive. Perhaps you should assess and adjust at this point. Expand on a goal or add a new goal. You on-track folks can go to step 5.

If you’re not doing so well - perhaps you forgot what goals you set all-together - pull out that list again. Go through step 1 for this year and nail down the real reasons you’re struggling.

Identify your need for accomplishing your goals one by one and write down what will happen if you don’t accomplish it. If that doesn’t cause you pain (making you feel the need), it could be time to adjust your goals. Remember that these goals are just for you – you won’t be getting a review, be judged or get publicly stoned if you have to modify or change your goals. Also keep in mind that there's a slew of great business and personal coaches out there ready to help you get on track. Do what works for you.
High Fives
High five. Happy dance. Shout outs. New shoes. If you are crossing out task items, congratulate yourself! Fluffing through this step can actually hinder your progress. Therefore, identify early-on what you can do to give yourself a boost and keep you motivated.

Many people have a friend to share their goals with, some are able to give themselves a little treat while many just know that the feeling of accomplishment is reward enough (crazy, but it's true). The point is to know what works for you and identify your form of recognition now so you’ll be sure to reward yourself without expecting more later - from yourself, your wallet or someone else.

Simple, right? The most important thing to remember when you’re developing, breaking down, sticking with and accomplishing goals is that, no matter which step you’re on, you are that much more accomplished than you were yesterday.

Sometimes, just remembering that will help make your goals more attainable and less intimidating. Please share your tips and tricks to developing and reaching your goals.

When Does Reaching Out Become a Cop-out?

2011-01-18T12:30:00.000-05:00

I’m excited to have been chosen as the coordinator of roundtable lunches for the association I belong to. It requires a topic and speaker/discussion leader for each month’s lunch. The association staff has been so supportive. They've provided lists of past speakers and topics as well as other tools and resources. Last year’s coordinator also offered assistance. I truly feel supported in this role I’ve taken on.

So. I’ve got my notebook put together, my calendar of deadlines planned out (even though I’m already behind for Feb – sigh) and I’ve got a list of possible topics and a few prospective speakers. I must admit, my organized notebook gives me cause for doing a little happy dance.

However, here’s where I hit a wall. I can certainly do research to find appropriate speakers. I mean, I love to do research, so that's not a challenge to me. However, in an attempt to 1) manage my time and 2) work on one of my goals for 2011, "not make such a mountain out of a mole hill" (as my husband says), I was going to ask for some help.

But then I second-guessed myself: Am I reaching out or am I being lazy?

I was going to send the list of topic ideas to a couple members of my "pro posse" (as my friend Niki Pocock puts it) and ask them if anyone jumped to mind as a possible speaker befitting any topic listed. I have some well-connected posse so am sure I'd get a name or two I wouldn't have thought of. Once I have some suggestions, I fully intend to do all the leg work. So why do I feel as if asking for help is copping out?

When does reaching out for support become being lazy?

Thanks for your input and feedback.

It's a Four-Quarter Game - Don't Blame the Kicker

2011-01-10T16:06:00.003-05:00

The National Championship game is on tonight which means college football season is over…and that makes me sad. Yes, this post is about a lesson learned from sports, but I'll try not to be too cliche.

It has always bugged me that, when a game comes down to a field goal, people blame the kicker if he doesn't "give" the team the win. My feeling has always been that, if it only took 3 points to win or loose a game, that’s not the fault (or victory) of the kicker – that’s on the entire team. Do we hold the receiver who let the ball slip through his hands in the second quarter as accountable? No usually.

Why do so many fans put a loss on the final play? Did the team not have four quarters to accomplish their goal? I understand that the final kick can be that player's chance to shine, but to blame a loss on him and his missed kick? So frustrating.

This happens a lot in the business world, too. It's not as obvious as a play on the football field, but it happens. For example, the association I work for held one of its annual member/community events a few months back. The success of the event didn’t fall on the shoulders of our Communications team. Different departments really came through in their respective roles to inform our members and the community about the event. I was impressed with the number of staff members throughout the association who contributed to the success of the event. Whether it was distributing an event flier to their favorite places of business, providing suggestions to help promote the event or volunteer the day of the event. Was the event the most successful one we've held? I'm sorry to say that it wasn't. Everyone who contributed helped to make this year better than last. I was proud to be a part of the team.

Now, I'm not saying that it's impossible for one person to make or break a project, but it rarely is all on one person or one event. (One person can definitely be a weak link throughout a project, but that's another topic.)

Every aspect of a business is a team effort – even solo entrepreneurs wouldn't be as successful if they didn’t have the support from someone in their lives. Everyone is supporting everyone. If the last person to make a play doesn't deliver, it shouldn't break the team or the goal. More importantly, a team should not rely on one person to "save" the project.

Are you playing at your best consistently so it doesn't come down to the final play?

Seeing Clearly Now

2010-11-16T08:50:00.000-05:00

We've heard it before – when we're at our lowest, some type of survival mode kicks in. Well, that's certainly what it felt like to me about a month ago following some tough times. Something in my brain just kicked all the crud out, yelling "ENOUGH!" After that purge of negative junk, my way of thinking had a complete overhaul – actually, I’m not sure which came first.

I realized that, for so long, I was focused on things that were "wrong" or preventing me from accomplishing or enjoying something. I wasn't looking at myself or asking what I was doing about any of these things that were making me unhappy or frustrated. I realize it sounds so simple and, I'll be honest, I truly thought I already was thinking this way. But it was that survival mode previously mentioned that really whacked me in the face. I really wasn't holding myself accountable.

When I was frustrated at work, I was focused on the things that I insisted would not change so I became stuck in the mud. When I got frustrated at home, I would get…I hate to say it…bitchy. Lately, however, I'm taking a good look at myself.

Am I proud of my actions and behavior?

The irony is that I used to feel like I was taking on so much of other peoples' stuff because I felt I had to take care it all. However, since I've started holding myself accountable, I've actually become so much more of a team player. I don't have those preconceived frustrations nor the attitude. It's very freeing!

Don't get me wrong, I still get frustrated. I am not wearing rose-tinted glasses, either. I just feel balanced. I don't waste time obsessing over things that are out of my control. I am accountable for me, so what can I do in my capacity to resolve an issue, help with a project, support the ones I love and get things done around the house? These are priorities I want in my life in order to be the person I want to be and can be proud of.

It's no surprise that I'm happier in every area of my life, have been getting positive feedback at work and my personal relationships are richer. I've also noticed that, since my new perspective, others are more inclined to help and support me, which has been so rewarding. The biggest rewards, though, have been a confidence that I have not ever experienced, an overall happiness and almost a complete elimination of worry and stress.

Do you have areas in your life that could use a new perspective?

Is Doing Just Enough Doing the Job Well Enough?

2010-08-24T12:37:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately, I've been picking up on a trend lately (or maybe just starting to pay attention to it) – people being closed-off to a topic that they feel "has nothing to do" with them. In an attempt to avoid frustration, I started thinking of what I could learn – or share – from this belief that "it has nothing to do with me, so I don't need to know about it."

"Always do more than is required of you" - George S. Patton

When I used to teach software application courses, many of the adult students shared their frustrations to learn "this stuff" in order to do their jobs well. I would explain that when they learn how to use the software under attack, they could actually be doing their jobs faster and perhaps even better – it should be seen as a tool rather than a ball and chain or a waste of time. Luckily, after the classes, many would not only agree with the advice but also express their excitement for things they wanted to go back to their office and get done with this great tool.

I'm not explaining this to pat myself on my back as an instructor because I simply guided them through the syllabus. I use this example because it is a great example of how learning new things can really enhance your work performance, confidence and enthusiasm.

This concept goes beyond computer applications. If your job involves an aspect that you're not comfortable or confident with, what do you have to lose by learning about it? Sure it may be a bit uncomfortable – learning outside of your comfort zone – and it may be a little frustrating when you're thinking it really doesn't fall under your exact job description. I've also heard "I just don't have time for that." Sigh. How much time could you save yourself, your client or your budget by being able to cut meeting times down, save the time someone has to explain something or get approval on something YOU can now explain?

Learning something new, even if others in your office "do that", does not mean you are trying to take over someone's job. This is simply enhancing your awareness, giving you an edge, providing you confidence when a conversation comes up involving this task, allowing you the education to expedite a client's request, and many other possible benefits.

It has been said that great leaders surround themselves with experts and they make sure they know just enough about something to know whether those people actually are experts (vs. someone telling you they are). Are you as confident as you can be when listening to the experts that surround you?

I recommend challenging yourself to learn a little something about something new, then watch your performance and confidence step up to something great. Albert Einstein stated it best: "Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value." Enjoy!

"When to Part Ways" or "You Can’t Make the Shoe Fit"

2010-07-14T10:00:00.000-04:00

I get inspired reading many other blogs. After reading Lauren Novo's (Gen-Y [PR]ogress) latest, "When Your Client is Afraid of the PR Plan…" I found myself writing such a long comment, I realized I needed to sum it up in that comment box and I'd found my next blog topic. Lauren’s blog is suggested reading and should be added to your blog favorites.

Lauren's most recent post posed the questions "Have you ever had to part ways with a client who just wouldn't get on board with anything?" and "Do you have any major stories of success or failure?"

I was inspired to start blogging less than a year ago when I answered a co-worker's request for advice on an office situation and she pointed out that I have a lot of experience and understanding for my age. For that, I can thank many failures – ok, lessons learned. Don't get me wrong, I’m proud of the experiences I've had and remind myself on a regular basis that if I didn't have them, I wouldn't be who I am today (and all that jazz).

So, to get back on point, I wanted to share the experiences I’ve had in business when it might have been wiser to part ways.

Example 1:
After building up my confidence and client list doing freelance marketing project management work, I moved to a new city…town (I call that chapter "Taking One for the Team"). In my new location, I was happy to be hired on contract to help a marketing materials company (a.k.a. tchachkies) incorporate websites and e-mails into their services.

The president loved our first sit-down. He explained what he wanted, I explained what I could offer and it seemed to be a great fit. It was all warm-and-fuzzies. Unfortunately, when I developed a plan and reviewed it with him, the changes necessary to make this transition happen for his company were not things he wanted to do. He loved the ideas, he wanted the end results, but he did not want to make the changes to get from A to B (i.e., staff training, branding, revised pitches to new and existing clients, proposal generation).

Fortunately, and unfortunately, I was excited to give it a shot anyway, striving to provide as much as I could. I jump into some of their branding elements and they liked the work I was doing. But I should have known to jump overboard instead because I was unable to perform what I was hired to do. They were very kind and recognized that it just wasn’t a good fit. Bottom line in my eyes, though, is that fell on me.

I'm sorry to say that I did not learn my lesson.

Example 2:
Fast forward a few years. I was hired (not my current job) to be the "marketing expert" with a company in an industry that was new to me; it was an exciting challenge. Though I did my homework before the interviews and asked all the right questions, I showed up on day-one only to learn that the VP of Marketing did not know I had been interviewed or hired, nor did he like the idea of any changes being made to his program. I couldn't blame him being sore. He's the VP and he showed up with not only a new staff member but one who was told to, well, do most of his job! (Super!)

There I was, sort of hanging out in the wind with three executives (including the President) giving me the green light to make changes – but with direction to check with the VP of Marketing first…who didn't want any changes made. Yeah, by day four I knew I should have not only jumped ship but started swimming for my life.

But I stuck it out, worked well with the team and tried to make the best of it. How did that work? I’ll spare you my rants and head-kicking – we’ll just say I was let go for something that was not my decision (it was actually against my decision). Lesson learned: Take II.

I'm sharing these tales because I hope someone reading this may consider these things when in a similar situation. If it seems delivering your best is not going to be an option, why put yourself in that situation?

I am proud to say that a similar situation came up more recently with a contract project and I saw the signs. I stopped, looked at what I was able to offer, what they wanted from me, and made a comparison. It did not match. I was able to acknowledge that the results they wanted and the very limited work they wanted me to do (and pay me for) could only end in disappointment on their end and utter frustration on my end (with very little monetary compensation). I respectfully thanked them for the consideration and declined. Was it easy? No. Did they handle it gracefully? Not so much. (thankfully, I had my proposal details in place to be able to know I was not doing anything wrong).

It is very difficult to turn down work, especially when you’re new and enthusiastic and want to jump in head-first. But, like any other relationship, a business relationship can’t be forced. To be very cliché, you can't make the shoe fit.

Thank you, Lauren, for your great post and closing questions which reminded me of this still-tender and important topic. I hope between our two posts, there are readers who will be able to stop and consider these lessons.

Selling an Idea

2010-06-23T09:25:00.000-04:00

When I worked in retail, excellent customer service was easy and enjoyable for me. I'd listen, identify their needs and find a solution. In a store where items are on the shelves or racks, I knew what was available and how those products could fit the customer's needs.

When ideas or processes are my product, however, it seems my work is open to more scrutiny and judgment. How does the client know that my solution is going to fit their needs? A few things come to mind: trust, past experience or portfolios, case studies, and confidence (a characteristic I believe often goes un-stated). I'm definitely still working on the latter.

Why did it seem so much easier to be confident of products in stores than I seem to be of my own work? In retail, it was easy to get excited about and compliment the things I sold. When selling my own products or services, wouldn't it be taboo to say something like "this is perfect for your situation"?

I have learned and practiced the process of repeating the client's needs, goals and requests for the job to lead up to the presentation of the final product or solution. From there, do I just sit back and let my work sell its self or do I need to put on the "salesman" hat? I’ve read "The One Minute Salesperson" (it was my parents' copy, when it was called "The One Minute Salesman"). It's a great book and I recommend it to everyone, no matter your profession. Between books like that and my training in retail, I'm pretty savvy on how to close the sale for products we can touch and feel. Are products that come in other forms so different?

Perhaps this isn't about the product but the confidence in the product?

What tips do you have for having confidence in your ideas and closing the sale without defending your work?

Working to Perfection

2010-06-15T06:32:00.002-04:00

Many places I've worked have applied the pressure to do things right the first time – no room for error. The "wisdom" I picked up from working with or for people who have no room for error is that we should not repeat the bad and repeat the good – exactly.

When I couldn't do that I thought it was a flaw of mine – I just couldn’t do it "right." But the past few years have taught me there are no situations in life that are exactly the same. The situation, timeline, project, client’s needs, industry, personalities involved – tens of factors – make the next job not-exactly the same.

So, how can anything be repeated exactly? I've realized one thing that can be repeated is paying attention. Listen, learn and keep an open mind. Instead of trying to do the exact same thing in every situation, the "right" way, I've learned to pay attention to what the best way might be for that particular situation.

Once I learned to just stop to consider the needs, expectations and desired outcomes for that one job, I realized I was better equipped to produce my best work. My best work particular to that job and all of the factors involved with that job. That, to me, is perfect.

What's an important lesson you have learned that helps you produce your best work?

What I Learned from a Game of Solitaire

2010-05-13T22:31:00.031-04:00

I play Solitaire to wind down. My mom taught me the game when I was a kid (yes, with physical cards). I will play several games until I finally win one. A game could be hopeless, it could be close – it doesn't matter. I continue starting over until I win.

So as I was playing tonight, it hit me, "Why can't I do this in life – just accept the loss and start over without any hesitation?"

If life or jobs were as predictable as the game of Solitaire, I'd probably have more confidence and overwhelming enthusiasm to jump in and give it another go (well, I'd probably get bored, but that's another topic). In Solitaire, your options of cards are 52. They can be shuffled to change their order, but the pieces are still the same. Life isn't like that; no two situations, or their pieces, are exactly the same.

I realize the Solitaire analogy may be getting a bit trite, but please stay with me.

When I was a kid, with the cards spread on the floor, after I lost a game I’d look at the cards that were under the stacks – the cards that weren't accessible. I'd get frustrated when I'd see a card I needed only one card down, "If this top card weren't here..." Over the years I don't do that anymore. Perhaps it started when I played on the computer (since it doesn't let you look at the unrevealed cards) or perhaps it simply became unimportant. I don't stress over unavailable options in the game. But in life I still do.

When I replay work or personal situations that didn't turn out as well as I'd have liked, I scrutinize each step in an effort to do it better the next time. Isn't that what we're supposed to do – learn from our mistakes? I realized during my game, and while writing this blog, that I should just look at those situations for what they were: a bad hand. I'm not saying there aren't lessons to learn, to identify something avoidable (i.e. started earlier, estimated the time differently). After that recap, though, make the necessary adjustments, shuffle the cards and start over with next client, task or project.

This has made me appreciate that every hand is different. So I'm going to remember to just shuffle and play the cards. The next time is not going to be the same as the last. Isn't that part of what makes the game so enjoyable and why we continue to play?

"What is a Business Plan?" [blog by Aurora Meyer]

2010-05-04T10:13:00.004-04:00

Last week I posted "When's the last time you read your business plan? Don't have one? Really ask yourself why it intimidates you - then dive in!" on Twitter. A new Twitter friend, Aurora Meyer asked if she could interview me about business plans – what they are and who needs them. Of course I was honored and answered her questions via an e-mail interview. A key interest of hers was whether she, similar to many of us, a professional with on-again-off-again freelance experience, needs a business plan.

She has written a two-part blog about business plans, especially from the perspective of a freelance professional. Thank you, in advance, for sharing your feedback and experience with us.

Thank you, Aurora, for asking such pointed questions. Not only did it refresh my memory of experiences with small businesses that did not have business plans, but it provided yet another trigger to motivate myself to answer those key questions prompted by a business plan.

"What is a Business Plan?" by Aurora Meyer

Meeting on Purpose

2010-04-25T22:46:00.012-04:00

So many people look at meetings as a waste of time. If you've ever found yourself in this spot, have you asked "why do I think this a waste of my time?"? Sometimes meetings may not be necessary. Many time they are the quickest and most efficient way to get the best communication from all team members. Bottom line is meetings take up your time. Are you holding yourself accountable to get the most out of your meetings?

Many moons ago, I was hired to help start an advertising and marketing firm. It was just the owner and me working with contracted designers, programmers, copywriters and anyone else we needed for our projects. When I joined her for our first client meeting, I was green when it came to client interaction at that level (presidents and owners). I know my boss was pushing me to learn everything, but, in the beginning, I believe she just wanted me there as another body.

On the way to that first meeting, she said "let's review the purpose of this meeting," and named three things. This cleared things up for me and shook my fear of not knowing what the client might bring up. We went into that meeting with those three things top-of-mind to ensure everything we discussed revolved around making those three things happen. We left that meeting with confidence that we came for what we needed. I keep that in mind to this day to be sure I’m getting something from meetings I attend. I also ensure that when I call a meeting, the purpose is stated for each attendee to know ahead of time.

When you find yourself dreading yet another meeting, ask yourself what you want to get out of it. If you aren't sure, ask the meeting planner - for an agenda, the purpose or what they want to accomplish. There are meetings that are in the hands of others (and have a boring topic), but that's no excuse. It may sound harsh, but if someone tries to bluff through and you don't get anything out of it, ask for clarification. If you leave a meeting without any take-aways, 99% of the time, it's because you missed an opportunity.

When you are invited to a meeting, do you know the meeting topic and meeting goals? Think about how much more efficient it would be if we were told at the beginning why we are there and what needs to be accomplished. The one holding the meeting should keep all attendees on track, but if they don’t, what’s stopping you from bringing everyone back to point?

There will be meetings in your life that simply are to inform you of something you are not interested in. But apparently, someone thinks you should be there and should be listening to what they’re saying. If you ask yourself "what should I get from this meeting?", I’ll bet you leave having learned at least one new thing.

So much of professional development involves time management. Making the most of your time is a key factor in managing it. You control it. Be sure the meetings you hold are to the point and accomplish your purpose. If this becomes a standard for your meetings, you will see more enthusiasm and participation because everyone will know you respect their time and that their participation was needed to help you accomplish specific goals.

Technology for Gen Y v. Gen X[My First Guest-Blog Experience]

2010-04-14T13:22:00.016-04:00

The topic of a conversation I had with a friend of mine sparked me as something my friend Niki Pocock could be interested in as a topic for her blog. Her blog themes revolve around her "trying to navigate the world as a Gen-Y professional" and a mother – it's smart and entertaining.

My friend and I were talking about (and laughing over) how NON-technical our college experiences were - especially compared to those students who were only 3 years behind us (let alone those Gen-Y'ers). When I suggested this to Niki as a topic she could write about, I was very honored when she challenged me to do so as her guest blogger. I invite you to read, stroll down memory lane, and hopefully get a chuckle from "Gen X Tech: College Research Papers – a History Lesson."

Follow Niki on Twitter: @NickiPocock

To Bill or Not to To Bill

2010-03-29T11:30:00.002-04:00

I’ve been having an issue with the line between friend and client. I am very lucky to have several friends who are entrepreneurs. I would love to help them with online marketing since I enjoy helping friends succeed even more than online marketing. Since I’m not an official company or have contracts drawn for regular freelance gigs (at least not ones updated in the past 8 years), I believe I should start getting the kinks out, if you will, by helping out a few friends at no charge. Perhaps after I have three of these types of client-experiences under my belt I can be "official" and have all my ducks in a row.

Man, this sounds good; except that I have freelanced before and even started a company with my ex-husband (I say started because the first three clients I got us were too much for my "staff"). Therefore, I know what needs to be done. I have the initial experience under my belt – so why do I not feel like charging friends?

Is it a question of self-worth? I’ve read articles about the association of billing with value. Does this mean I have little value for my services? Perhaps I’m too lazy to deal with the contracts and tracking money? Which is worse!? Perhaps I can try to look at the bright side and be O.K. with enjoying helping friends more than being a business. Is that weak?

So here I sit, asking myself if I am lazy or do I need to work on my self-worth? Well, I’m at least smart enough to believe the latter would most likely kick the former’s butt. Ah, the irony.

Same Lesson - But I Get It This Time

2010-03-11T22:18:00.015-05:00

I’ve been reading so many great articles in the past few weeks about being a great entrepreneur, leader, or guru of some kind. Many touch on knowledge, strength and experience. Well, tonight I had an "aha!" moment as I was reading Why Leadership Matters by Erin Schreyer in Forbes Women Views. She asked readers to check ourselves as leaders – one key component was "is anyone following."

Hello? Is anyone there?

Let me first state that I do understand Twitter is not the leadership indicator, however, reading about "followers" made me think of social media. Though I’ve been excited about and appreciative of an increase in great Twitter followers, it made me realize I may have lost focus recently. I think in the past few weeks I’ve been trying to find more unique and interesting things to Tweet about to see people re-Tweet me or engage in conversations about what I’ve written. Though it’s been a great challenge to find and learn from the articles I’ve discovered along that path, that’s not the point.

Erin’s article tonight brought up that word that has been hanging over my head for quite a few years: passion. Her article noted how many great leaders have that quality in common. They have a passion, live that passion and share that passion. Because of that passion, people followed.

I have continued to ask myself "what am I passionate about?" (It’s a good thing to ask yourself, by the way.) Part of my "aha!" moment tonight was the realization that I have looked at myself similarly in many stages of my life: choosing a major in college, looking for my first real job (and many jobs thereafter), and going through relationship issues. The common theme in these situations was that I needed to know myself and be true to that. A strong relationship doesn’t last long if one person lives to try to please the other – a self-aware and confident person has more to contribute to a relationship which makes them more attractive. True leaders don’t come up with a plan for people to follow – they focus on their passion which brings out the followers.

So what did I learn from this "aha!" moment and asking myself these questions...again? I do know what I’m passionate about. Just because people don’t read what I blog, engage in conversations about my Tweets, or line up to have me help them with promotional campaigns – that’s ok for now. I need to remember that my passions are just that – mine. They are part of me. When my passions -- and I -- develop, we’ll have done so in our own time and in our own way which will be true and honest. I have a good feeling when that happens, I’ll see some more folks around me.

Three Key Players in the Game

2010-03-11T12:51:00.001-05:00

It’s been quite a month so far. I think it’s good that I’m feeling busy. I like being busy. So much better than being bored! Something that’s been mulling around my head has been the connection between organization, personal development and business development. I’m drawn to and am passionate about all three and I believe I’ve only recently been seeing the true connection between the three.

I realize this sounds like a no-brainer. But lately they’ve actually become intertwined. When I find myself overwhelmed (aka procrastinating), I take a deep breath, organize my to do list, clean off my work area (even if that’s my coffee table), do some arm pumps to get the blood going, remind myself there’s no reason NOT to get this stuff done and get my mind back in it. Absolutely a case of organization, personal and business development working together on one path.

Now, how can I make that my part of my business? Stay tuned.

Getting Out of the Gunky Block

2010-02-01T15:14:00.012-05:00

Yesterday I was a blob. A useless blob. Today, I don't feel too different. I was trying to think of how to describe what my brain was going through and I came up with a great analogy – writer's block! So, I ask, can you get life block? I know there are things I want to do – really, I want to! It's not like in school where I hafta. So I tried to think about what I do when I get writer's block – and maybe that will help me get through this "life block" that I feel stuck in.

Force a new scenery – get out of the house, look out the window, walk around the office, just stop staring at the screen. Would it be awesome to go to Hawaii for two weeks? Well, duh! But let's get realistic. Maybe stop in on a co-worker, say hi, ask how their weekend was and get back to your cube. Keep in mind that they may be in a zone, so don't be a zone-crasher (or get in trouble with your boss for sitting around and yapping).

Change a habit – take a walk in the middle of your day (if you don't already), drive another way to or from work, change your schedule of when you eat dinner. These are kind of silly but you'll think of something that just breaks up your regular "today I went to work and I came home and made dinner." Today my attempt of this was to do something different with my to do list in my cubicle life. Not so effective, but I tried. So just try something a little differently to get out of the mundane repetition.

Pump it up! – Yes, it's cliché, but seriously, get your blood flowing. I won't go into all the things you know already about how we're more effective when we have blood and oxygen pumping through our bodies, our hormones change and we get happier or any of that other stuff. But just stand up and walk up and down your office stairs. Do some arm pumps at your desk while looking out your window. It's sort of a way to combine the first three things together, too. So why not?

Allow a brain-dead day – Maybe you've been doing what my mom scolds me about a lot, burning your candle at both ends, and you just need a brain-dead day. Even for some of you who've been feeling like blobs because you're job hunting (don't evy you, it's a mundane "must do" thing) – well, allow yourself to NOT STRESS about looking for a job for one day. Even if you honestly haven't been doing something every day, you are probably beating yourself up about it. So just allow yourself one day. Tell your family so it's official then turn off the phone, step away from the computer and go do whatever you want. Watch TV, read a book, go to a movie, pull out your paints again, sit in a park – whatever. But tell yourself it's ok to turn everything off. You'll turn it on tomorrow and it will all be where you left it. I promise.

Just do something – When I get writers block, I learned to just jump in and start writing, even if it's random thoughts on the topic. Thanks to today's technology, those can always be re-organized and cleaned up later. So why not try that with life block? Just jump in and do something right in front of you – dust the TV, pick up the garbage around the family room, do one load of laundry or empty the dishwasher. Typically that will get you on a roll (you'll straighten up the kitchen after you empty the dishwasher). But guess what? Even if you only do just that one thing - you did something today! And that's something to feel good about.

Get all that "stuff" in your head OUT – This one is not as easy as it sounds. It's basically a self-therapy session. Grab a pad of paper and pen and write it all down. Write down all the things you want done around the house, what you want to eat, the friends you want to get in touch with or visit, what you want to say to your boss, what you want your boss to say to you – anything and everything. Mine even included tightening screws on the cabinet doors in the bathroom. When you're done purging, look at your list.
- It's amazing how relieving it is to see that you have three pages of "stuff" that was previously bogging down your brain.
- Many times you can then look at all the things that you have absolutly no control over and feel better.
- You may see that many of these things are not really a big deal - and you may chuckle at how a bunch of really simple things were weighing so hard on you.
- The toughest thing to do? DO NOT let these pages overwhelm you. You wrote them down to free your brain. They are there, you can come back to them on paper - not floating around your noggin.
From here, you can dive in and organize these wishes and want-tos. You can make a goal list, use colored highlighters to create categories or divide them by stages from lifetime goals to goals for this week. Again, do not let this overwhelm you! You can actaully have fun breaking them down which makes them turn into'stuff' rather than things holding on to you.

Just do it - This sort of is like number 5, but it's not. That one is truly about just doing ANYTHING – whether it was something you cared about or not. This one is to just forget about being right, perfect, good, great or a leader. You've had something weighing on you to do for months or even years (like me organizing my wedding pictures and making albums for us the parents). Well, ya know what? Maybe I just need to forget about how pretty it's going to be or how much I need to touch up photos and realize that I just need to get the dang pictures printed and sent to our families who have been waiting for them for over a year! Sometimes we just need to stop trying to be perfect and just do it. Give yourself a time line or deadline. "I will mail these albums in two weeks." And that is it. Be done with it. And, think about it, if you want to get super fancy and do something frilly and high -end later, you can! But at least your basic task is done and not weighing on you anymore.

Discover what's stopping you - This isn't really a way to get motivated, but more of a follow-up. Sometimes, for some of us, there is nothing that helps us get back into living today. There could be millions of reasons why, but the bottom line is that we just can't pull up those big-girl panties and move on with our lives. We're stuck. If you've tried some of the above and you're still feeling trapped in mud, maybe ask yourself why. If you've read any management or business development book, you know that success can be a bigger fear than failure.

I remember many moons ago when I was listening to Tony Robbins' CDs and one scenario really stuck with me. We work similarly to the way our air conditioners do. When it's hot in the room, the ac kicks on and gets it back to a comfy 74 degrees. When the room starts to get too cool, it shuts off (or the heat turns on) and brings it back up to a comfy 74 degrees. Well, we are very much doing the same thing to our lives. When we start to slip and slack - loose a job, get dumped, total the car – we do what we have to to get back in our comfort zone. We blast that air to get us back to normal. However, when we start to succeed, get a little notoriety, or get positive feedback from those who typically don't give it, we shut off the air and get our lives back into that comfy 74 degree range that we are used to. Of course I'm paraphrasing Tony Robbins' theory, but that's pretty much it.

For this part of getting out of our life block, think of what and why, you are uncomfortable getting into a new comfort zone. What would happen if 70 degrees became my new comfy area and I got used to letting the air work for just a little longer? The world would not end. We need to think about that - - and write it down. Don't be afraid! And, chances are you'll find yourself in the same place I did when I've done this which is similar to the thousands of patients that authors discuss in the books I've read with versions of this activity – it turns out to be something we think is silly. It's nothing world shaking, it's something like 'we're never going to be good enough', or, 'becoming successful will change who we are', or, 'our friends or family won't support us.' These are silly things - meaning that they are not the huge psychological breakthroughs we would hope were holding us back.

So there are 7 things that I thought of to help get out of life block (and an 8th follow-up step). And you know what? Writing this blog covered number 2 for me (and had me admit my number 8)! So I am ready to go! Thank you! Oh, and one last thing? At the end of the day, and when I'm at the end of my road, the life I'll be looking back on will be mine. Because it belongs to me – not anyone else. It's my very own life, so I'd like to know I lived it.

Just a Peek into My Noggin Over the Weekend

2010-01-24T23:29:00.005-05:00

Sat. 1/23

I’m supposed to be blogging instead of eating these graham crackers since it’s after 8:30pm. Sounds weird, but one of my 2010 goals is to lose 15 pounds, and one of the tasks to accomplish that goal is to not eat before 8:30pm. But, I’m not going to beat myself up. First, such is life. Second, it’s just graham crackers – NOT the remaining potato chips that are truly calling my name. See? Not so bad! Something to smile about.

Tomorrow I’m going to do housework and errands so will wear my pedometer to see how many steps I get in from doing "stuff." If it’s less than 3k steps, then I’ll take myself on a little walk around the neighborhood.

So that’s all what "I’m gunna" do. That is one of my least favorite phrases: "I’m gunna." But I had to get that out to help psych myself up and sort of put in stone that I’m not going to be a lump tomorrow. I’ve been so off on sleeping this week and it completely caught up with me today. So, you may ask (whoever is actually reading this), 'Why are you still awake at midnight, then?' You ready for some dumb logic? I’m still awake at midnight because I’m doing my bad habit of forcing relaxation time. Dumb, right? I’m staying awake...to relax. So, on that note, as boring as this blog is, I’m going to wrap it up , stop procrastinating, drink a big glass of water and put myself in bed.

Sun 1/24

OK. I did get up and move around and DO things today. Yeah me! Unfortunately, my day was very food-focused. I’m not sure if I’d write this if I knew people were actually reading this, but I’m going through my cycle and it makes me hungry every minute of the day. So I should go easy on myself since the chips and dip this afternoon and the ice cream after dinner were in pretty decent proportions.

I got up this morning thinking of the two bananas just past their prime in the kitchen. Aha! Banana pancakes! We had no pancake or biscuit mix so I made pancakes from scratch. How domestic, right? I added some cinnamon, dried orange peel (an excellent addition to any spice rack, by the way), nutmeg and sliced up bananas to this very simple recipe and drizzled them with a bit of honey. Oh momma, what a treat. I did some laundry, swept and mopped the kitchen and then looked up recipes online. That wasn’t enough food craving for me so I pulled out a cookbook a friend loaned me and read through that. Yes, I’m a recipe geek and actually read cookbooks. At about 3pm I had to break-down for lunch. I mixed a teaspoon of orange marmalade and a good long squirt of honey Dijon mustard and rubbed it into pork chops that had been thawed since Friday. Served some greens on the side and, voila, a healthy lunch. See, not bad so far. Then the craving hit about an hour after lunch. I fought and fought, drank two glasses of ice water, but to no avail. I pulled out the last two tablespoons of French onion dip and used those beautiful potato chips to scrape it up.

So, feeling guilty, I took a shower and went to Wal-Mart. I parked in the farthest spot and walked through each isle in health and beauty - even though I knew right where the two things I needed to get were. Then I picked up the pace and quickly walked over to the opposite side of the store and got a bunch of veggies and oranges. I've learned that I have a new craving for oranges – which I think is cool because they take a while to eat and are a good source of filling fiber.
When dinner time rolled around, I chopped up some yummy broccoli, carrots, tomatoes and cucumbers. I sauteed (with a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil) some frozen shrimp in a cocktail ring with a dash of seafood seasoning. I tossed that all together with some romaine (I know, not fabulous, but my husband doesn’t eat spinach salad – so that's our compromise). I put a little Asian ginger dressing on it and YUMMY! I must say, I was pretty impressed with myself. And...then I had two scoops of blueberry cobbler ice cream. Sigh.

I still didn't feel like I needed to beat myself up because, after dropping off my husband at work, I came home and got that treadmill back up and ready to rock. I strapped on my ol’ cross-trainers, threw on my sweats and...where the heck is the stupid safety key for the treadmill!? ARGH! Really?! So after getting all the junk in the bedroom out of the way to move around and set up this stupid, awkward, 200 pound machine – the key is missing? WHY!? I even took a Santa magnet off the fridge that I forgot to pack with the holiday stuff to see if any ol' magnet would do. But, no, Santa's face didn't do the trick.

So I'm sitting here typing, with my cross-trainers still on my feet, knowing I should go to bed, but being frustrated with a little 1 inch piece of red plastic.
So with all of this, I actually did get over 3000 steps in today. It's not 4, it’s not 10, but it is the 3K I told myself I'd do today. So yeah me!

On my drive home tonight, I was thinking about why it's so scary to challenge ourselves. We know we can do these things. I mean, we work out, we lose weight. At least we tighten up and strengthen muscles - that's just science. So why does it intimidate so many of us? I even grew up active so it's not something unknown. So why does it hold so much power over me?

I'm going to share my theory with you, again, because I don't think there's anyone reading this. I grew up thinking the gorgeous bods and work-out girls were snobs. There. I said it. It seemed that only the self-absorbed would spend that kind of time making themselves hard-bodies. Now, I realize this makes no sense. But that was my perception and it's still in my head. Maybe because I'm a child of the 80s. Maybe because I grew up in Miami. I don't know. I mean, when I had over 10 hours a week of jazz, ballet, pointe and modern dance classes and rehearsals, I didn’t consider that working out – it was a hobby, a passion. When I was riding my bike all over town, swimming all afternoon or rock climbing, I never saw that as working out, it was just fun activities. So maybe now it's because my view is that I "need to workout" rather than "I’m going to go have fun"? Is that what makes it different? I don't know. I don't even get why I think this way or why some part of my brain thinks this makes sense. But there it is. If I start working out, there's a chance I'm going to become one of those dippy blondes who only wants to show off her body and act like a bimbo. Oh, and not just a bimbo, a slutty looking bimbo, of course!

I just want to throw a rock at my head for even writing that down. It's so stupid. But that's what the little devil on my shoulder is saying about working out. This little devil is why a weight-loss and work-out plan is so much more of a mental challenge for me than a physical one. But you know what? I can – and will - be the best version of myself and NOT turn into a snobby, slutty bimbo. Wow, I wonder who else has that as a goal for the year.

The First Step

2010-01-11T19:45:00.003-05:00

So we all set some resolutions, yes? Working out, look better, feel better, be better, be smarter, blah blah blah.

I don’t write that to be rude — because my resolutions are the same; one about my health, one about my smarts, one about my job, etc. But you know what hit me? This may be a crazy snowball, so my apologies if I lose you – but I'll try to get to the point quick. Why is everyone afraid to look at ourselves first?

I was watching something on the Discovery channel this weekend about how vast our universe is. And, of course, the topic came up about how possible or impossible is it to imagine other life-forms similar to humans in this huge universe. And, it was horrible, but do you know the first thing that jumped to mind? "And if we find them, we'll spend more money and energy that we don’t have on them! Super." How obnoxious and horrible was that?

Well, that "selfish" thought got me thinking. My point is not to get into a political issue, so I'll try to keep this general. Our country is helpful. Our country is giving. Are we each not like the country its self? It is so much easier to look at someone else than to look at ourselves.

So I was inspired to do my goals for the year. And I'm doing them to make a difference – I'm starting with myself. If I can be the best person I can be, won't the world and people around me be affected by that? I'm not being narcissistic, I am trying to be responsible. If I'm watching the portions of my meals and taking a walk after dinner each night, won't my husband join me once in a while? Voila – there's one. If I increase my productivity at work and my co-workers see that, won't they somehow kick their levels up a notch? Voila – there's two, maybe three. What about volunteering? And being positive? These things are noticed and do spread. I have to believe that, just as enthusiasm is contagious, isn't being a good person?

I realize it's quite simple and that I'm not coming up with some grand, new, impressive concept. That’s what makes it so beautiful. It's the most basic thing. But it's also the toughest. I don't want to hold myself accountable! LOL Seriously! But I know I have to look at that list and know that if I don't do each task for one of my goals that it won't be accomplished. Period. No one else's fault. It belongs to me. And that, too, will have an affect on those around me. When I get all cranky, who do I need to look at? Me.

So this year, make your resolutions and generate your goals. But know that it all comes down to you. Let's stop looking at what he's doing and what she's not doing. Let's look at ourselves. I have a strong feeling the rest will fall into place.

Friend or Foe

2009-11-13T11:38:00.004-05:00

Family and friends.

Hopefully, most of you associate these words with strength, support, love and maybe even fun. I have a piece of Facebook flair (those cute little pins that remind me nostalgically of my denim jacket from the 80s) that reads: "A friend is someone who is totally aware of how retarded you are, but still manages to be seen in public with you." (Let’s not get into the use of "retarded," and move on.) The point my flair makes is true -- and it’s not just being seen in public with you, it’s your acceptance.

I hope I’m not the only one who has put my foot in my mouth, or found myself saying "You know what I mean." That’s what I love about my friends and family – they know me and my true personality.

Just because I may say things with less finesse than I intended, you know that that’s just part of me. Does this mean I run around being crass and crude? NO! I do my best at thinking before I speak. There is a fine line, though. And this is where another treasured aspect of a true friend and unconditional love from your family comes into the picture. They hold that proverbial mirror up for you. They help you keep your feet on the ground.

Of course, there are exceptions. They are not allowed to hold that mirror in your face daily. I mean, we do know ourselves and hopefully we’re working on ourselves. We don’t need someone constantly in the corner pointing out every blemish It’s when we start to leave reality, neglect our morals, stray from our core being – that’s when we all need that dear friend or family member to kindly and gently point us to the mirror. Or, if necessary, slap us back into reality on occasion!

I’ve had some folks I’ve thought were friends, but for some reason, dropped off the face of the earth. It’s hard to not get down about things like that. But what frustrates me more about those situations is I want to know why. As my mother has pointed out several times to me, "We can’t always know why." But I wanna!

As years have passed, I have realized this means the person did not respect me enough to approach me about whatever may have happened. It sucks that, in my mind, I did something to make them distant. However, I have learned it’s not so much that they became distant as it is they did not respect me or our friendship enough to say "Hey, you know when you said this? It really hurt." Or, "I like hanging out with you, but the way you use your napkin drives me nuts." And don’t think I’m kidding about the last one – I had a friend tell me that! I’m not ill-mannered, she just didn’t like how I had one napkin on my lap and another on the table that I used to wipe my mouth – she said it grossed her out. Well, now I’m aware of that.

That is my point. If someone really knows me, they know that I am open to feedback. I respect them and the friendship enough to listen to their "thing." Now, it doesn’t mean we all have to change for our friends and family – not at all. We still must be true to ourselves. So the napkin conversation could have ended "Well, I think it’s gross to put that on my clothes, so get over it." But at least we were able to talk about it (and I’m sure that friend of mine would have given me some kind of razzing when we went out).

On to another point of the trust and respect of our friends and family; we still need to know and trust in ourselves. I read many articles on leadership, business and management, and so many discuss "what to do when your loved ones don’t support your goals." That’s a tough thing to go through. And I have gone through the experience of believing I knew what I was doing and forged ahead though some of my family members were not too thrilled.

Those are tough lessons. Not only did I want to be right, but I wanted to have that "thing" so I could say "This was mine." But you know what? Maybe that thing wasn’t really mine – or I wasn’t ready for it. I had to own that. It’s how your family and friends react to that challenge that can truly make a difference in how easy it is for us to dust ourselves off.

One of my favorite movies is "Meet the Robinsons." Yes, it’s a cartoon, but it’s better than many self-help books I’ve read. The reason being – without ruining the movie – the theme is "Keep Moving Forward."

When we make a mistake, it should be celebrated, not judged or punished. As one of the characters explains (and I paraphrase), "If I didn’t get this wrong, I would not have gone on to do x, y or z!" Now that’s an incredible support group. Cheering for you when you’ve made that attempt, "Great job! Now keep moving forward!"

So thank you to my friends and family who know I don’t mean harm, will be seen with me in public, cheer me on through my attempts at goals and put up with me as I continue to work on myself and my confidence. I only hope I am respectful enough to do the same for you.

What's My Goal Again?

2009-10-11T22:44:00.011-04:00

I need to remember that if I'm bored, perhaps I'm boring; or at least that aspect of my life is boring. And who is responsible for that? Moi. I have told myself time and again to set my own goals, don't rely on whether or not someone else's agendas involve me. I can't always depend on that. What are my own agendas? Why am I doing what I'm doing and what do I hope to accomplish from that?

This isn't to say that you have to "get" something out of everything you do. I am saying that if you remind yourself of this once in a while, it helps to ground you - help you step away from the moment, so to speak. A very smart woman I worked with explained to me that she didn't really reach that giving-up point - when others would throw up their hands - because she would remind herself she was there for a reason. What was it? Well, her reasons changed, and, I'm certain, there were some that were long-standing. But whatever they were, they kept her focused on what was important to her.

So when I am in a situation, commitment, or job and I find myself feeling unhappy, unmotivated, or under appreciated I ask myself "why am I doing this and what do I want out of it?". Well, I should state that I try to remember to ask myself that! The past few weeks I have forgotten, and it's affected me. I've been bummed because I've found myself in situations where I feel as if I'm waiting for someone else to tell me what to do. And, therefore, I just became mindless, waiting for direction or motivation to come from elsewhere - a person, a new project, even a speaker at a professional luncheon. Though these can occasionally be excellent sources for jolts, it should not be what one depends on for honest goal assessment for personal or professional areas of ones life.

Again, I'm not saying we should approach life with a need to get something for ourselves out of every situation. I'm not that egocentric. But, if you think about it, even visiting a sick friend has a goal - you want to cheer them up. When you're invited somewhere you are really not looking forward to going, remind yourself why you committed in the first place and forget about all the other "stuff" that's rumbling in your head about why you don't want to go. When I have done that, I almost always wind up enjoying myself. (Imagine that!)

So why is it so hard to do this in all types of situations? Well, I'm thinking maybe it has to do with the fact that a social event feels less important than a commitment to a family member or a job. If I approach my job with the attitude "well, this is what I want to be sure I accomplish," is that going to get me in trouble, put me at risk, make me vulnerable? Well, who knows? But I may as well accomplish some personal goals while reaching the vague or non-existent goals someone else has out there that somehow may or may not involve me. I may find that our end result may cross goal-paths. Even better, I could introduce and share my goals with others. Whatever the result, if I stayed true to myself, didn't lose site of the big picture, and produced quality work, I can walk away with my head held high. No matter what anyone else says...or doesn't say.

Good luck!

Today's the Day

2009-10-07T17:30:00.000-04:00

So, where to begin - it's like a love letter or fan letter - no one knows where or how to start. But as I was harassing my co-worker and friend about writing her book, "Just start writing!" I realized maybe I needed to be shaking my finger at myself. So, here I am, in the world of blog.

"What are you going to write about?" you may ask (who are you? I have no idea, but hey, I'm goin' with it). I'm going to write down all the opinions I share with those I work with, am friends with and who share some kind of name with me by law – that includes the dog. Does this mean I think my opinions are the end-all-be-all? Heck no! But I love to learn from others, so maybe (juuust maybe), someone else might stop and say hmmm after reading something I write.

What are these opinions going to be about? Well, whatever I get stuck thinking about on any given day, of course. Here’s an idea about who I am. I: am in my mid thirties, have been divorced and remarried, am not feeling motivated at my job, have a lot of interests, love our pug, own a boat, am a new sewer, love movies, was a punk-geek in high school, am trying to learn the art of "making the best of what you’ve got" (or perhaps I need to be more appreciative), have worked in advertising and marketing, have freelanced, have had many random jobs, am always interested to learn the art of being a lady – whatever that means, wish I could have done more with my years of French lessons, love the performing arts, love to promote and network, I am proud to have the network of friends and family that I do, and am a little goofy, tom-boy, diva and rock-n-roll.

This could be meaningful, this could be personal – who the heck knows. I have a minor in philosophy and I believe it’s that part of my noggin that also loves to learn – about people, random topics, whatever. Well, I can’t say that accurately, some topics are meant to be left alone. I hadn’t thought about the American’s obsession with fame that much, besides that it’s become a nasty gerbil wheel, until I noticed person-E’s constant posts comments, blogs, tweets, FB status, etc. about reality tv people, musicians, movie stars – it was like reading an OK magazine! And, let’s be honest, you’re really not supposed to READ the articles, you’re just supposed to read the photo captions, right? So this got to be a bit much. Even more so when this person would continue to talk about how they just don’t have the time to pursue their dreams, pick up a hobby, spend time with their kids, and so on. Am I a hypocrite for writing this stuff in a blog, since that’s kind of what my blogs will be about – what are my goals and what am I doing to reach them? Darn tootin! But such is life, oui?! (Oh, and in my defense, writing a blog was one of my goals, thank you very much. CHECK!)

Ready for, what will hopefully be, a fun ride? I know I’ll look forward to comments – how fun to have conversations flowing back and forth like a crazed tennis match – or maybe more pin-pong (less grunting and fewer divas).

Is there a point in here somewhere? Hm…I think it’s to pass along what I told my friend to do with her book writing – I’m jumping in and starting with chapter 2. I did it when I was totally stuck in my hypothetical chapter 1 of starting a blog. Today’s the day!